You’ve heard the term. The sandwich generation! In case you’re unsure, the definition for the sandwich generation is:

A generation of people, usually in their 40s to 70s, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents.

For many of us in midlife, this is our reality. And for women--more often than not the primary caregiver—this can take a huge toll on finances, personal time, health, and career. As women we are often charged with the emotional and physical support of the people around us, including aging and ailing parents. This could include bathing, dressing, toiletry, housecleaning, among other things.

If this is you, it may help you to understand you are not alone. The Pew Research Center estimates that over 1 in 8 Americans ages 40 to 70 fall into this category, caring for parents while still raising their own children. This statistic will likely grow as the estimated number of older adults aged 65+ is expected to double by 2030 (as per US Census Bureau data), and statistics in Australia, Canada, and the UK show similar trends. In fact, his phenomenon is now so entrenched that it officially earned its place in the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2006.

The term was introduced in 1981 but has taken on much more significance since then. For one thing, people are living longer, and, for another, there has been a substantial increase in the number of post-college kids returning home to live with their parents. Economic realities and large student debts are contributing factors to this, adding to the pressures felt by the parents—both financial pressure and time pressure. The Pew Research Center now estimates that about 29% of young adults aged 25-34 live with their parents.

Those caught in the sandwich generation are often responsible for helping their loved ones with daily functioning, medical services and supervision—giving medications, aiding with finances, legal, and dealing with emotional difficulties such dementia and other cognitive impairments. One estimate regarding the financial cost places it about $10,000 per year and the time cost at 1,350 hours combined per year (The Monthly Labor Review). However, this is an old statistic so it is likely much higher now.

The financial toll, though significant, is only a part of the over-all burden. It can mean a significant time commitment, cutting in to personal time that might otherwise be used for self-care, hobbies, even sleep. Depression and anxiety are a significant concern as dealing with the push and pull on a daily basis can affect emotional and mental health. At the very least it is highly likely that you will feel stress and burnout. And what about the effect on your career? It is often the case that some of the added time needed to care for loved ones will come from time normally dedicated to career advancement. It can also take a huge toll on a marriage. Your partner, like yourself, often drops to the bottom of your priorities.

Caregivers have to deal with feelings of isolation and guilt. Being in this over-worked role oftentimes makes the caregiver feel as if they are not doing enough to help. Being pulled in two different directions can cause emotional and psychological issues as they struggle to protect and take care of their loved ones, both younger and older. Becoming a part of the Sandwich Generation, though it is a difficult thing to accept, is best if you are prepared for it in advance. We put a lot of thought into planning for retirement, but those plans rarely include taking care of anyone but ourselves. Being prepared for the potential eventuality of caring for others as well means considering what the financial toll will be? It also means preparing for the potential physical and emotional toll. And it means understanding what your parents’ wishes are should they become incapacitated. Having a plan in place may not solve all the issues, but it can help you be prepared to deal with most of them as they come up.